These Little Sonsabitches!

These little sonsabitches drive me crazy! They break my nails and pinch my fingers. They're hard to yank out and hard to shove in. And then I can't find them when I need them. You probably call them "outlet plugs". You know, the little white plastic thingies you stick in electric outlets so kids can't stick their fingers in them and get shocked?
Around here we call them "sonsabitches" because every time we try to pull them out of the outlets we mumble "Man, I hate these little sonsabitches!"

Vampire Plant

Just found out I have a never-before-discovered Vampire Plant. It's actually a philodendron with vampire tendencies. Ever since I took it out of the dark, dry corner it's been living in, and put it on a sunny windowsill, it's been in a silent scream state with it's leaves reaching for the shadows.
I'm not sure what I should do with it. Should I put it back in it's coffin-like, dark corner, or should I torture it with water and sunlight? I could put it out of its misery, but I don't remember if I should shoot it with a silver bullet, drive a wooden stake through it's heart, or have an exorcism performed??

Hypocrite or Normal By Today's Standards?

I feel like such a hypocrite. I feel compelled to perform a Random Act of Kindness for someone less fortunate, but at the same time anticipate looking at www.peopleofwalmart.com to laugh at probably those same people! I'm so confused!

Astronauts and Pots and Pans

I'm beginning to agree with the folks who think the moon landings were hoaxes. After all, how is it possible that we were able to send men to the moon in the 1960s (think back to the technology of the time.... or lack of it!), yet I still have a daily battle trying to fit round pans in a square cabinet! Seriously, shouldn't we solve the small daily problems of life on this planet before we worry about life on the moon!

Why the Perfect Pump?

Why is it when we pump gas in our vehicle's tank, we try to end it with an exact dollar amount? For example, if it stops at $24.78, we keep pumping gas in until it reaches $25.00.
When I'm shopping for groceries, I don't keep adding on pieces of bubble gum until the total reaches an exact dollar amount!

2012 Mayan Calendar

I'm beginnnig to think there is something to the Mayan calendar ending with the year 2012. How else to explain the fact that none of my canned goods are dated beyond December, 2012?? Does the canning industry know more than they're letting on?? New Goal: I'll be in search of canned goods dated 2013 or beyond!

Movies and Messes!

Recently, I played the movie "Mary Poppins" (which seems to be about 4 days long!). Of course, none of the kids watched it - which brings up the question - Why did the actors in earlier Disney movies all have a (fake or not) British accent? Kids today just have no interest/attention span for that. I started this movie while some of the kids were napping so I could run out for a quick haircut. My husband watched the kids for about 20 or so minutes while I was gone.
Unfortunately, the Baby chose those few minutes to serve up a very messy diaper..... and clothes..... and baby swing.... to a guy who brags that he's never changed a diaper (and, yes, we've/I've raised three kids!)! I was welcomed home with the kids saying, "You should see what's on Baby's back!" It might not have been quite so bad if she hadn't been wearing a onesie - which has to pull over her head to get it off! ( I seriously thought about cutting it off her!) She got a warm, bubbly sink bath....

House Cleaning

While I was fixing lunch one day, I realized Addison kept going past me to the trash can. After one of her trips to the trash can, I followed her back to the toy room. Seems she'd thrown away an entire box of tissues one by one. I went back to fixing lunch, then had a thought that I should check the trash can. Under the hundred or so tissues were six little pairs of shoes and several pairs of socks!

Sugar Bites

While swinging recently, Gracie asked me if I knew what sugar bites were. I guessed, "Are they a new cereal?"
"No!", laughed Gracie while rolling her eyes.
"Are they some new kind of candy?", I guessed again.
"No!", laughed Gracie even more while looking a bit perplexed at me.
"I give up. What are they?", I said.
"These bumps on my legs.... sugar bites", She explained. "What are they?"
Ok, now I got it. Sugar bites ..... aka Chigger bites. She wanted me to tell her what they were, not guess what they were! So, I explained the bite of the chigger.

Eh, What's that you say?

As I was washing dishes after lunch one day, Gracie was behind me and said, " I smelt.....".
I was waiting for her to tell me what she smelt. Instead, she said it again as if she was waiting for me to respond. So, I turned to look at her. She was pointing at her cup of water. That's when I realzed she hadn't been saying, "I smelt". She'd been saying, "Ice melt"!

Spiders, Scissors, Monster Trucks, and Poopy Diapers!

We had a bit of excitement last week when I realized Allison, 18 mos., wasn’t poking at the morning glories growing on the fence, she was poking the back of a black widow spider! Thankfully, she didn’t get bitten! That did, however, prompt a call to
the “bug man” to spray the house and yard.

We’ve been finishing coloring, cutting, and gluing the 5 Little Monkeys pages. We’re now working on a Home Sweet Home booklet about animals homes. Progress is slow.
Coloring is not a favorite activity with this group. Playing with scissors, smearing glue sticks, and chewing up crayons rank much higher!

When we’ve come inside late in the afternoon, my husband has turned the tv to Monster Trucks! Allison will squeal in a high-pitched voice, while the boys grunt and shout, “Oh, Man! Oh, Man!”.
April, 18 mos., positions herself in the playroom where she can peek into the living room at the tv. She is so scared, her entire body is shaking! But she just can’t seem to pull her eyes away from the action - like trying not to watch a train wreck as it's happening! I try to position myself between her and the tv, but she always moves to see around me! Can't resist the scare factor!

Allison is also afraid of walking across the back deck. She’s afraid she’ll fall through the ½” cracks between the boards! She’s ok, if she’s holding your hand. Otherwise, she gets on all fours and crawls across it! So cute!

Aidan, Andy, and Kevin are getting along well. Usually three is not a good number - 2 seem to team up and leave out the 3rd, and the one who’s left out is constantly changing. In this case, there actually seems to be less arguing when the three are together than when there are just two boys. Yeah!

Allison has been very helpful. When she saw me gather the white bags full of recyclables
and carry them to the van, she decided to help. When I got back to the porch,
she handed me another white bag. Unfortunately, this bag was full of poopy diapers. It went the other direction - to the dumpster.

Legos, Dora, and Animal Charades

The kids played with mini Legos one day this week. I thought I’d be pulling Legos from twin girls, Allison and April's, mouths like a dentist pulling teeth for dentures! Actually, the “older” kids were very good about keeping the Legos on the table, and away from the twin vacuums!

Dora Dancerella DVD - This set comes with a DVD, a mat, a Dora outfit, and 2 very loud maracas. To begin with, everyone wanted those maracas (I got out pom poms for those awaiting their turn with the maracas, but the pom poms just weren’t loud enough!) Allison wore the pink Dora shirt, while April wore the orange Dora shorts. Andy got first turn with the mat and maracas. He followed along and did the required movements, but soon realized he could just sit in the recliner and watch the movie without the interruption of having to move! Soon everyone just stood in place and watched it…. except when they glanced my way while I was doing the Pirate Dance and trying to get them to join in…

Animal Charades - Everyone takes turns drawing a card with a picture of an animal on it and acting it out until someone guesses what animal they are. The problem is they all seem to either hop or walk around on all fours no matter what their animal is! So, I have to start giving clues about what their animal looks like, what sounds it makes, what family of animals it belongs to, what environment it lives in, etc. They really just want to hop and run!

Bingo!, PB&J, and the "S" word

We played animal bingo this week, but everyone was so focused on getting the candy
they weren’t really paying much attention to the game. They were covering up kangaroos when I called out duck, and camels when I called out seahorse, etc. Whatever it took to get to the candy!
(During this game, Gracie asked if we could play a “drinking game”, I think she meant she wanted to win pop as well as candy for playing bingo. I just didn’t even go there….;)


We may have to spend some time studying the food pyramid. Allison, 18 mos., will put rocks, wood chips, and dirty shoes in her mouth, but refuses to taste a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
When I tried to get her to taste a bite of it, she reacted as if I’d tried to put rocks…. or wood chips…. or dirty shoes in her mouth!


We had a bit of tattling this week. I was told that Ava, nearly 3 yrs., had just said the “S” word. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what the “S” word was.
Turns out it’s “Stupid”. But when Ava says it, it comes out “ ‘tupid”. So, technically, wouldn’t that make it the “T” word?

Attention Please!

We recently attended our niece's first birthday party. Amid the throng of relatives, the birthday girl's mother began shouting, "Excuse me, everyone. Can everyone please gather around? We have an announcement to make." She and her husband waited patiently as we gathered around.

Exciting thoughts went through my head, "Are they having another baby? Already? Did they win the lottery? The Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes? Will they share?"

As these hopeful (and, yeah, greedy) thoughts went through my head, she announced to everyone, "We wanted to let you all know that.... the sewer's backed up, so don't flush the toilet."

That flushed away all the thoughts in my head.

Start of a Bad Day,, & Recycle and Reduce, but Don't Reuse!

You know it's going to be a bad day when...

You know it's going to be a bad day when the high temperature for the day is 30 degrees (so there won't be any playing outside), there's a no-running-in-the-house rule, and at 8:15 you hear from the play room, "You can't catch me". Then, "Oh, yes, I can!" Thump, thump, thump, thump.......
Accompanied by another conversation:
"Mine!". "My turn!". "Mine!". "My turn!". "Mine!". "My turn!". "Mine!". "My turn!"
Followed by a chorus of crying, a round of tattling, and the smell of poopy diapers.

Overheard conversation from the kitchen table:

Child #1 -"Pick up the toy I dropped. It's over there"
Child #2 - "I don't see it there".
Child #1 - "No, not there. The other over there".

Recycle and Reduce, but don't Reuse!

Remember last post I mentioned how we try not to reuse the dishcloths because I'm never sure just where they've been? I had walked out of the bathroom to find Andrew cleaning up some spilled milk.
This week I walked out of the bathroom to find 3 yr. old Gracie hanging a dish towel on the oven door handle. She watched me out of the corner of her eyes with her eyebrows lifted and a you-don't-see-me-I'm-just-innocently-putting-this-towel-on-here look on her face. Seems she spilled milk on the floor also, and decided she could clean it up, and I'd never know. And I wouldn't have!

Now we're definitely not reusing dish towels either! I'm thinking I need a secret hidden camera in the kitchen for the 2 minutes a day I'm in the bathroom! Or I could just not go to the bathroom from 7:30a.m. - 5:30 p.m.!

Reverence at the Dinner Table

While eating at Applebee's recently, I looked around the restaurant and saw a young 'tween girl sitting with her family. As the waitperson served her family their food, she had her head lowered with her hands in her lap. I was so surprised to see someone of her age saying a silent prayer before a meal (even though her family wasn't joining her in this moment of silence), that I had to glance back at her after a moment. She was still praying. After a few more glances, I studied her a bit more closely. Not only was she not praying, but she was texting with her cell phone on her lap! So much for first impressions.

Puke, Spilled Milk, and Little Cleaner Uppers

Word of the Week:

Puked

This word was worked into many convos this week. Once Gracie told us (again) that she puked at Grandma's, everyone else had to compete with similar stories. It seemed to be a contest of who could use that word the most in a sentence, a conversation, and a day. Usually these conversations occurred during meals and snacks. Very appetizing.

Crying Over Spilled Milk

If you've ever wondered how we go through dozens of dish cloths each day... wonder no more. Every time I use one for any purpose, it goes in the laundry room or if we're using them one after the other, I'll stack the dirty ones in the sink or at the back of the sink until I can get them to the laundry room.

That fact and my fear of going to the bathroom (Not a fear of the germs and random puddles of pee, but a fear of what is happening in the house when I'm in the bathroom!) combined one day this week when I walked out of the bathroom to see 2 yr. old Andrew politely wiping up the glass of milk he'd spilled on the floor while I was in the bathroom.

Apparently, he'd reached up to the edge of the sink, gotten a wet dish cloth, and began to mop up the spilled milk on the floor. He then lifted the sopping wet, milky, dripping cloth to the table and swished around that milk, then carried the still dripping dish cloth to the sink and set it on the edge. He gave me the biggest smile, and was so proud of himself for cleaning up the mess. I thanked him and told him what a good job he'd done.
Then, yes, I thoroughly cleaned everything.

Here's my fear - What if he'd finished "cleaning" before I got out of the bathroom. I never would have known why there was milk everywhere (including running down the cabinet front), or all the places the dish cloth had been used. That's why we don't reuse the dish cloths!

Just 'cause.... and Illiterate Literacy

Word of the Week:

'cause - This word, along with a shoulder shrug, is the reason /explanation for everything that happens around here.


Recently, Aidan saw his name written in all capital letters. Not used to seeing this, he said (sounding like a future rapper), "This looks like my name, but my name has a A to the I to the D to the A to the N". Too funny.

I've noticed, lately, a lot of nouns used as verbs. Has it always been this way, or is it on the increase?
For example, "We roommated in college.", and "I.M. me later". How would an English teacher break down these sentences?!
And while I'm on the subject.... Oh, the downfall of the written word! I was reading a Scholastic book to the kids recently, and one of the words in it was "sorta"! As in "I sorta want to go". Who proofreads these before they're published?! Are they hiring?
Another book used the wrong word entirely. The sentence was something like this - "As he past the goal line..." It should be "passed".
Another problem - should of, could of, would of used instead of should have, could have, would have.
Another problem - Books, especially children's books with incomplete sentences.

Please don't point out all my mistakes in my blog. I know I'm not perfect, but I expect companies who are in the business of publishing books to have them properly proofread before publishing them for millions of people to read.

Dip It In A Liquid

Thought for the day concerning young children....

They will eat almost anything if they can dip it
in ketchup, ranch dressing, or chocolate syrup.


Just name a food and pick a dip!

Modern Day Shopping for the Fam

After heading out to do all my Christmas shopping for my family in one day, I realized I'd left all their wish lists at home. Not to worry. I got a pen and paper out of my purse, and jotted down what I could remember from their lists. And, strangely, very few vowels were needed.

To the best of my recollection, this is a compilation of their wish lists:

MP3, DVD, LCD, HDTV, HP, Wii,

GAP, 18K, IPOD, 360, DS, NFL,

AE, GMC, BMW, CD, NBA, GPS,

VCR, 7UP, R2D2, C3P0,

ACT, SAT, FEMA, IRS, FBI, CIA, NASA

They got $.

And not much of it.