Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thankful for Friends, Family, and reality tv!

Today I'd like to make a recommendation. Get a best friend. Sounds simple enough, huh?

I happen to have a wonderful best friend. She's also a day care provider, so we have lots in common. Sometimes we're so much alike, it's scary. She's always a great listener. She offers advice or her opinion when I need it, and refrains from giving advice or her opinion when she thinks I'll calm down later and change my view of a situation. We talk almost daily on the phone. However because of our busy lives, we seldom get together in person. We can talk to each other about everything from our own husbands and kids to day care kids and parents to typos and grammatical errors in the local paper. And, of course, all the local gossip. We both know without having to say it, which discussions are to be kept just between us.

Everyone should have such a friend. Make it your New Year's resolution to not only find such a friend, but also become such a friend to someone else. If you already have a great friendship, be thankful. Do all you can to keep it.

My husband is also a great friend, but in a different way. A very different way. We're more like the "opposites attract" friends. Anything I like, he seems to go out of his way to like the opposite thing. For example if I like the beach, he likes the mountains. If I like hot weather, he likes cold. If I like the Chrysler 300, he likes the latest Cadillac. If I like reality tv, he likes sports. Ok, so that's not so unusual for a guy to like sports. Anyway, whether you and your friend are exactly alike or complete opposites, you can have a wonderful relationship.

Today, I'm thankful for family and friends. I'm thankful for good health and good times. And, I'm thankful (and excited) to have seen Reed Timmer from Discovery Channel's Storm Chasers on ABC's Good Morning America today!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Prune Juice and Bodily Fluids

The day began innocently enough (Don't they all?). Dad brought almost-2 yr.-old Jr. to day care along with a sippy cup of prune juice.
"Jr.'s stopped up. Needs lots of fluids. No milk"
No problem (so I thought....).

The kids sat around the table for breakfast. Jr., not happy with the prune juice or dad divulging his secrets about his privates, hurled the prune juice-filled sippy cup across the kitchen and onto the floor where it exploded like a volcano. Prune juice dripped and ran down cabinet fronts and cabinet doors, chair legs and kids' legs. The kitchen floor was awash in fluid. Fortunately, the runner rug was there to absorb the rest of the juice....

Biting my lips and crossing my arms with my clenched hands under my armpits (and with four-letter word combinations you'd never imagine going through my mind), I stormed to the locked upper (clean) cabinet and got the cleaning supplies. And began wiping, scrubbing, and cleaning the lower 4 ft. of my kitchen.

After I'd thrown the rug in the washer and was scrubbing the floor again, Carter informed me that the baby in the high chair had thrown up. I glanced up from the floor and could see a bit of white formula on her chin. Upon standing, I realized she was puking up formula, fruit, and rice cereal the equivilent of Mt. St. Helens eruption in 1980! After the major eruption and the small lava flows that followed, I lifted her lovingly in my outstretched arms and carried her dripping torso to the bathtub. I peeled her clothes off over her head ( Trust me, if I'd had scissors or a pocketknife on me, I would have cut them off. I've done it before .... with an encounter with a different bodily fluid that shouldn't have been fluid...) and cleaned her from head to toe.

All the while I'm doing this, the kids are still sitting at the table eating their breakfast. They seem to eat more when there's a show included with their meal.

Baby then went into a playpen while I took the cushioned seat cover off the high chair, hosed it off outside, scrubbed it in the sink, laid it on the porch rail to dry, and scrubbed the rest of the high chair.

I then refilled Jr.'s sippy cup, with oj this time. Guess he didn't want oj either. After rescrubbing the lower 4 ft. of my kitchen, I cleared the table and the breakfast mess.

Carter and Aidan began running through the house from one end to the other knocking down anyone or anything in their paths. No amount of asking, pleading, demanding, or bribing could get them to stop running. So, I sent them outside and told them to run all they wanted.

As I began bundling up all the littler ones to go outside, I began to suspect that the prune juice was working its magic. After Jr. was unbundled, cleaned and changed, and rebundled, I realized the prune juice had caused a chain reaction in all the little ones.

Between diaper changes, I looked out to check on Carter and Aidan, they were just standing on the porch. Not running. I told them they were supposed to be running like they had been in the house. They began walking down the steps, so I headed back to the bathroom and more diaper changes.

While diapers, wipes, changing pads, poopy butts, and germs were flowing in a strange, and smelly, assembly line in the bathroom, Baby decided that was an excellent time to puke again. So, the bathroom rug joined the kitchen rug in the washer.

Eventually, 8 diapers were changed (2 for each Diaperbutt... Apparently, prune juice works just by coming in contact with someone who's drank it, or thrown it). Everyone was rebundled and we headed outside to find Carter and Aidan, sitting on the swings. Not swinging. Just sitting.

Just as I turned them all loose to play outside, my mom pulled into the driveway. She lives across town - about 10 blocks in our modern Mayberry. She got out of her van carrying a day-old birthday cake - thick with frosting and brightly colored sprinkles. She wanted to share it with us. How nice.

I was anxious to see how the second hour of my workday was going to go.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lunch Helper

Recently, just as I was calling Lunch Helper into the kitchen to help with lunch, I heard yelling, a name called, a thump, and, then, crying coming from the playroom. I called Lunch Helper again.

When she got in the kitchen, I asked her, "Lunch Helper (not her real name), what just happened in the toy room? Any blood, guts, bones sticking out?"

I was expecting/wanting a quick "yes" or "no". Well, I was wanting to hear "no" , of course. But, I'd forgotten that Lunch Helper likes to tell the long version of events, so this is what I got instead.

"Babysitter (not my real name), you bemember dis one time when we had pancakes for breakfast? And we eben had peanut butter on dem? And Lucy and Ethel (names have been changed) were both reaching for the bananas? And they spilled Laverne's milk? And den Shirley said she was done eben though she didn't eben eat anything? And bemember den we pwayed Barbie's? And I hadded the Barbie couch? And we were betending they were at the movie feater? But Marsha and Jan were coloring and they were betending dey were at school? But den Cindy tried to take my Barbie? 'Cause eben she likeded the dress my Barbie was wearing?".......

And all the while this is going on, I'm popping things in the microwave, popping things out of the oven, stirring things, counting out napkins, spoons, forks, getting out plates, cups......)

...."And den I yankeded my Barbie back from Cindy? And den Cindy started crying?"....

And here's where I did the unthinkable... I interrupted Lunch Helper.
I said, "Yeah, sounds bad. So, in the toy room just now... well, 10 minutes ago now.... any blood, guts, broken bones?"

Well, I forgot that when Lunch Helper gets interrupted, she doesn't just continue from where she left off. She starts all over again....

"Well, Babysitter, you bemember dis one time when we had pancakes for breakfast? We eben had peanut butter on dem?...." ...... etc., etc., etc. ...... "And I yankeded my Barbie back from Cindy? And den Cindy started crying? And den you made us pway outside? And bemember dat you woosed to have a yellow hula hoop? And bemember dis one time when I threw it up and it hitted me on the head? And den me and Lucy and Laverne all wanted the same swing? And den we just pwayed on the swipper swide? Only Laverne started pwaying in the pwayhouse with Marsha and Jan? And dey wouldn't let Ethel pway 'cause she wanted to be a dog? And dey said she had to be a kitty? And den when we came in the house later Ethel wouldn't hang up her coat? And bemember I let the cat in the waundry room to eat her food? And eben I letted her out again? And eben Cindy and Shirley wanted to pway house but dey wouldn't let me be the mom? So I watcheded tv? And it was Tom and Jerry? And Jerry hitted Tom's tail with a hammer?"

By now lunch was getting cold and congealed, and I still didn't know if I had a Defcon 1 situation in the play room. So, I had to interrupt Lunch Helper at the risk of hearing it all repeated again.
I said, "Lunch Helper, what does all this have to do with what went on in the play room? Was someone injured? Blood, guts, broken bones??!!"

Lunch Helper said, "Dat is what I is twying to tell you. Dis one time when I was watching Tom and Jerry? And Jerry hitted Tom's tail with a hammer? Dat's the same show I was watching again today when you called me to be the lunch helper. So, I doesn't know. I wasn't eben in the pway room!"


Life went on with no sign of blood, guts, or broken bones.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Overheard Conversations....

Typical playtime conversation around here....

Chandler to Ashley - " Momma, they're being mean to me."
Ashley to Chandler - "So? I'm not even the mom. I'm the sister. And, anyway, they're cats."

Overheard from the playroom....

One child said, "The puppy was chewing on Jessica's shoes."
Another child answered excitedly, "I've been to Chucky Cheese, too!"

Have you ever had a conversation where, when it's over, you realize nothing has actually been said? Here's a conversation we had in the van as we were leaving the bank drive-thru recently.

Taryn - " Who that?"

Me - "Just the woman who works at the bank."

Taryn - "Why?"

Me - "That's her job."

Cassidy - "Who?"

Me - "The woman who works at the bank."

Taryn - "Who that?"

Me - "The bank woman."

Cassidy - "Who is she?"

Me - "The woman who works at the bank."

Taryn - "Why?"

Me - "That's her job."

Cassidy - "Who is it?"

Me - "The woman working at the bank."

Cassiday and Taryn - "Oh."

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Look, I have a tampon!

I was startled one day when a young girl came up behind me and said, quite excitedly, "Look! I have a tampon!"
I was afraid to turn around and look, but curiosity took over. Yep, there she was holding in one hand a picture she'd colored, and in the other hand an envelope with a sticker in the upper corner of it.
She said, " See? I have a 'tamp on it.".
Whew! Just a "stamp on" it.