These Little Sonsabitches!

These little sonsabitches drive me crazy! They break my nails and pinch my fingers. They're hard to yank out and hard to shove in. And then I can't find them when I need them. You probably call them "outlet plugs". You know, the little white plastic thingies you stick in electric outlets so kids can't stick their fingers in them and get shocked?
Around here we call them "sonsabitches" because every time we try to pull them out of the outlets we mumble "Man, I hate these little sonsabitches!"

Vampire Plant

Just found out I have a never-before-discovered Vampire Plant. It's actually a philodendron with vampire tendencies. Ever since I took it out of the dark, dry corner it's been living in, and put it on a sunny windowsill, it's been in a silent scream state with it's leaves reaching for the shadows.
I'm not sure what I should do with it. Should I put it back in it's coffin-like, dark corner, or should I torture it with water and sunlight? I could put it out of its misery, but I don't remember if I should shoot it with a silver bullet, drive a wooden stake through it's heart, or have an exorcism performed??