These Little Sonsabitches!

These little sonsabitches drive me crazy! They break my nails and pinch my fingers. They're hard to yank out and hard to shove in. And then I can't find them when I need them. You probably call them "outlet plugs". You know, the little white plastic thingies you stick in electric outlets so kids can't stick their fingers in them and get shocked?
Around here we call them "sonsabitches" because every time we try to pull them out of the outlets we mumble "Man, I hate these little sonsabitches!"

Vampire Plant

Just found out I have a never-before-discovered Vampire Plant. It's actually a philodendron with vampire tendencies. Ever since I took it out of the dark, dry corner it's been living in, and put it on a sunny windowsill, it's been in a silent scream state with it's leaves reaching for the shadows.
I'm not sure what I should do with it. Should I put it back in it's coffin-like, dark corner, or should I torture it with water and sunlight? I could put it out of its misery, but I don't remember if I should shoot it with a silver bullet, drive a wooden stake through it's heart, or have an exorcism performed??

Hypocrite or Normal By Today's Standards?

I feel like such a hypocrite. I feel compelled to perform a Random Act of Kindness for someone less fortunate, but at the same time anticipate looking at www.peopleofwalmart.com to laugh at probably those same people! I'm so confused!

Astronauts and Pots and Pans

I'm beginning to agree with the folks who think the moon landings were hoaxes. After all, how is it possible that we were able to send men to the moon in the 1960s (think back to the technology of the time.... or lack of it!), yet I still have a daily battle trying to fit round pans in a square cabinet! Seriously, shouldn't we solve the small daily problems of life on this planet before we worry about life on the moon!

Why the Perfect Pump?

Why is it when we pump gas in our vehicle's tank, we try to end it with an exact dollar amount? For example, if it stops at $24.78, we keep pumping gas in until it reaches $25.00.
When I'm shopping for groceries, I don't keep adding on pieces of bubble gum until the total reaches an exact dollar amount!

2012 Mayan Calendar

I'm beginnnig to think there is something to the Mayan calendar ending with the year 2012. How else to explain the fact that none of my canned goods are dated beyond December, 2012?? Does the canning industry know more than they're letting on?? New Goal: I'll be in search of canned goods dated 2013 or beyond!

Movies and Messes!

Recently, I played the movie "Mary Poppins" (which seems to be about 4 days long!). Of course, none of the kids watched it - which brings up the question - Why did the actors in earlier Disney movies all have a (fake or not) British accent? Kids today just have no interest/attention span for that. I started this movie while some of the kids were napping so I could run out for a quick haircut. My husband watched the kids for about 20 or so minutes while I was gone.
Unfortunately, the Baby chose those few minutes to serve up a very messy diaper..... and clothes..... and baby swing.... to a guy who brags that he's never changed a diaper (and, yes, we've/I've raised three kids!)! I was welcomed home with the kids saying, "You should see what's on Baby's back!" It might not have been quite so bad if she hadn't been wearing a onesie - which has to pull over her head to get it off! ( I seriously thought about cutting it off her!) She got a warm, bubbly sink bath....