Life At Day Care - Love, Laughs, and Legos

These Little Sonsabitches!

2010-03-23T20:43:00.004-05:00

These little sonsabitches drive me crazy! They break my nails and pinch my fingers. They're hard to yank out and hard to shove in. And then I can't find them when I need them. You probably call them "outlet plugs". You know, the little white plastic thingies you stick in electric outlets so kids can't stick their fingers in them and get shocked?
Around here we call them "sonsabitches" because every time we try to pull them out of the outlets we mumble "Man, I hate these little sonsabitches!"

Vampire Plant

2010-03-08T18:47:00.002-06:00

Just found out I have a never-before-discovered Vampire Plant. It's actually a philodendron with vampire tendencies. Ever since I took it out of the dark, dry corner it's been living in, and put it on a sunny windowsill, it's been in a silent scream state with it's leaves reaching for the shadows.
I'm not sure what I should do with it. Should I put it back in it's coffin-like, dark corner, or should I torture it with water and sunlight? I could put it out of its misery, but I don't remember if I should shoot it with a silver bullet, drive a wooden stake through it's heart, or have an exorcism performed??

Hypocrite or Normal By Today's Standards?

2010-01-31T13:30:00.002-06:00

I feel like such a hypocrite. I feel compelled to perform a Random Act of Kindness for someone less fortunate, but at the same time anticipate looking at www.peopleofwalmart.com to laugh at probably those same people! I'm so confused!

Astronauts and Pots and Pans

2010-01-27T10:38:00.002-06:00

I'm beginning to agree with the folks who think the moon landings were hoaxes. After all, how is it possible that we were able to send men to the moon in the 1960s (think back to the technology of the time.... or lack of it!), yet I still have a daily battle trying to fit round pans in a square cabinet! Seriously, shouldn't we solve the small daily problems of life on this planet before we worry about life on the moon!

Why the Perfect Pump?

2010-01-24T19:06:00.002-06:00

Why is it when we pump gas in our vehicle's tank, we try to end it with an exact dollar amount? For example, if it stops at $24.78, we keep pumping gas in until it reaches $25.00.
When I'm shopping for groceries, I don't keep adding on pieces of bubble gum until the total reaches an exact dollar amount!

2012 Mayan Calendar

2010-01-24T19:01:00.002-06:00

I'm beginnnig to think there is something to the Mayan calendar ending with the year 2012. How else to explain the fact that none of my canned goods are dated beyond December, 2012?? Does the canning industry know more than they're letting on?? New Goal: I'll be in search of canned goods dated 2013 or beyond!

Movies and Messes!

2010-01-16T17:18:00.002-06:00

Recently, I played the movie "Mary Poppins" (which seems to be about 4 days long!). Of course, none of the kids watched it - which brings up the question - Why did the actors in earlier Disney movies all have a (fake or not) British accent? Kids today just have no interest/attention span for that. I started this movie while some of the kids were napping so I could run out for a quick haircut. My husband watched the kids for about 20 or so minutes while I was gone.
Unfortunately, the Baby chose those few minutes to serve up a very messy diaper..... and clothes..... and baby swing.... to a guy who brags that he's never changed a diaper (and, yes, we've/I've raised three kids!)! I was welcomed home with the kids saying, "You should see what's on Baby's back!" It might not have been quite so bad if she hadn't been wearing a onesie - which has to pull over her head to get it off! ( I seriously thought about cutting it off her!) She got a warm, bubbly sink bath....

House Cleaning

2010-01-16T17:10:00.002-06:00

While I was fixing lunch one day, I realized Addison kept going past me to the trash can. After one of her trips to the trash can, I followed her back to the toy room. Seems she'd thrown away an entire box of tissues one by one. I went back to fixing lunch, then had a thought that I should check the trash can. Under the hundred or so tissues were six little pairs of shoes and several pairs of socks!

Sugar Bites

2009-10-11T18:54:00.002-05:00

While swinging recently, Gracie asked me if I knew what sugar bites were. I guessed, "Are they a new cereal?"
"No!", laughed Gracie while rolling her eyes.
"Are they some new kind of candy?", I guessed again.
"No!", laughed Gracie even more while looking a bit perplexed at me.
"I give up. What are they?", I said.
"These bumps on my legs.... sugar bites", She explained. "What are they?"
Ok, now I got it. Sugar bites ..... aka Chigger bites. She wanted me to tell her what they were, not guess what they were! So, I explained the bite of the chigger.

Eh, What's that you say?

2009-09-30T21:14:00.002-05:00

As I was washing dishes after lunch one day, Gracie was behind me and said, " I smelt.....".
I was waiting for her to tell me what she smelt. Instead, she said it again as if she was waiting for me to respond. So, I turned to look at her. She was pointing at her cup of water. That's when I realzed she hadn't been saying, "I smelt". She'd been saying, "Ice melt"!

Spiders, Scissors, Monster Trucks, and Poopy Diapers!

2009-09-25T14:55:00.005-05:00

We had a bit of excitement last week when I realized Allison, 18 mos., wasn’t poking at the morning glories growing on the fence, she was poking the back of a black widow spider! Thankfully, she didn’t get bitten! That did, however, prompt a call to
the “bug man” to spray the house and yard.

We’ve been finishing coloring, cutting, and gluing the 5 Little Monkeys pages. We’re now working on a Home Sweet Home booklet about animals homes. Progress is slow.
Coloring is not a favorite activity with this group. Playing with scissors, smearing glue sticks, and chewing up crayons rank much higher!

When we’ve come inside late in the afternoon, my husband has turned the tv to Monster Trucks! Allison will squeal in a high-pitched voice, while the boys grunt and shout, “Oh, Man! Oh, Man!”.
April, 18 mos., positions herself in the playroom where she can peek into the living room at the tv. She is so scared, her entire body is shaking! But she just can’t seem to pull her eyes away from the action - like trying not to watch a train wreck as it's happening! I try to position myself between her and the tv, but she always moves to see around me! Can't resist the scare factor!

Allison is also afraid of walking across the back deck. She’s afraid she’ll fall through the ½” cracks between the boards! She’s ok, if she’s holding your hand. Otherwise, she gets on all fours and crawls across it! So cute!

Aidan, Andy, and Kevin are getting along well. Usually three is not a good number - 2 seem to team up and leave out the 3rd, and the one who’s left out is constantly changing. In this case, there actually seems to be less arguing when the three are together than when there are just two boys. Yeah!

Allison has been very helpful. When she saw me gather the white bags full of recyclables
and carry them to the van, she decided to help. When I got back to the porch,
she handed me another white bag. Unfortunately, this bag was full of poopy diapers. It went the other direction - to the dumpster.

Legos, Dora, and Animal Charades

2009-09-25T14:50:00.003-05:00

The kids played with mini Legos one day this week. I thought I’d be pulling Legos from twin girls, Allison and April's, mouths like a dentist pulling teeth for dentures! Actually, the “older” kids were very good about keeping the Legos on the table, and away from the twin vacuums!

Dora Dancerella DVD - This set comes with a DVD, a mat, a Dora outfit, and 2 very loud maracas. To begin with, everyone wanted those maracas (I got out pom poms for those awaiting their turn with the maracas, but the pom poms just weren’t loud enough!) Allison wore the pink Dora shirt, while April wore the orange Dora shorts. Andy got first turn with the mat and maracas. He followed along and did the required movements, but soon realized he could just sit in the recliner and watch the movie without the interruption of having to move! Soon everyone just stood in place and watched it…. except when they glanced my way while I was doing the Pirate Dance and trying to get them to join in…

Animal Charades - Everyone takes turns drawing a card with a picture of an animal on it and acting it out until someone guesses what animal they are. The problem is they all seem to either hop or walk around on all fours no matter what their animal is! So, I have to start giving clues about what their animal looks like, what sounds it makes, what family of animals it belongs to, what environment it lives in, etc. They really just want to hop and run!

Bingo!, PB&J, and the "S" word

2009-09-25T14:41:00.006-05:00

We played animal bingo this week, but everyone was so focused on getting the candy
they weren’t really paying much attention to the game. They were covering up kangaroos when I called out duck, and camels when I called out seahorse, etc. Whatever it took to get to the candy!
(During this game, Gracie asked if we could play a “drinking game”, I think she meant she wanted to win pop as well as candy for playing bingo. I just didn’t even go there….;)

We may have to spend some time studying the food pyramid. Allison, 18 mos., will put rocks, wood chips, and dirty shoes in her mouth, but refuses to taste a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
When I tried to get her to taste a bite of it, she reacted as if I’d tried to put rocks…. or wood chips…. or dirty shoes in her mouth!

We had a bit of tattling this week. I was told that Ava, nearly 3 yrs., had just said the “S” word. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what the “S” word was.
Turns out it’s “Stupid”. But when Ava says it, it comes out “ ‘tupid”. So, technically, wouldn’t that make it the “T” word?

Attention Please!

2009-02-23T14:11:00.002-06:00

We recently attended our niece's first birthday party. Amid the throng of relatives, the birthday girl's mother began shouting, "Excuse me, everyone. Can everyone please gather around? We have an announcement to make." She and her husband waited patiently as we gathered around.

Exciting thoughts went through my head, "Are they having another baby? Already? Did they win the lottery? The Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes? Will they share?"

As these hopeful (and, yeah, greedy) thoughts went through my head, she announced to everyone, "We wanted to let you all know that.... the sewer's backed up, so don't flush the toilet."

That flushed away all the thoughts in my head.

Start of a Bad Day,, & Recycle and Reduce, but Don't Reuse!

2009-02-02T14:52:00.004-06:00

You know it's going to be a bad day when...

You know it's going to be a bad day when the high temperature for the day is 30 degrees (so there won't be any playing outside), there's a no-running-in-the-house rule, and at 8:15 you hear from the play room, "You can't catch me". Then, "Oh, yes, I can!" Thump, thump, thump, thump.......
Accompanied by another conversation:
"Mine!". "My turn!". "Mine!". "My turn!". "Mine!". "My turn!". "Mine!". "My turn!"
Followed by a chorus of crying, a round of tattling, and the smell of poopy diapers.

Overheard conversation from the kitchen table:

Child #1 -"Pick up the toy I dropped. It's over there"
Child #2 - "I don't see it there".
Child #1 - "No, not there. The other over there".

Recycle and Reduce, but don't Reuse!

Remember last post I mentioned how we try not to reuse the dishcloths because I'm never sure just where they've been? I had walked out of the bathroom to find Andrew cleaning up some spilled milk.
This week I walked out of the bathroom to find 3 yr. old Gracie hanging a dish towel on the oven door handle. She watched me out of the corner of her eyes with her eyebrows lifted and a you-don't-see-me-I'm-just-innocently-putting-this-towel-on-here look on her face. Seems she spilled milk on the floor also, and decided she could clean it up, and I'd never know. And I wouldn't have!

Now we're definitely not reusing dish towels either! I'm thinking I need a secret hidden camera in the kitchen for the 2 minutes a day I'm in the bathroom! Or I could just not go to the bathroom from 7:30a.m. - 5:30 p.m.!

Reverence at the Dinner Table

2009-01-26T19:20:00.002-06:00

While eating at Applebee's recently, I looked around the restaurant and saw a young 'tween girl sitting with her family. As the waitperson served her family their food, she had her head lowered with her hands in her lap. I was so surprised to see someone of her age saying a silent prayer before a meal (even though her family wasn't joining her in this moment of silence), that I had to glance back at her after a moment. She was still praying. After a few more glances, I studied her a bit more closely. Not only was she not praying, but she was texting with her cell phone on her lap! So much for first impressions.

Puke, Spilled Milk, and Little Cleaner Uppers

2009-01-26T18:58:00.003-06:00

Word of the Week:

Puked

This word was worked into many convos this week. Once Gracie told us (again) that she puked at Grandma's, everyone else had to compete with similar stories. It seemed to be a contest of who could use that word the most in a sentence, a conversation, and a day. Usually these conversations occurred during meals and snacks. Very appetizing.

Crying Over Spilled Milk

If you've ever wondered how we go through dozens of dish cloths each day... wonder no more. Every time I use one for any purpose, it goes in the laundry room or if we're using them one after the other, I'll stack the dirty ones in the sink or at the back of the sink until I can get them to the laundry room.

That fact and my fear of going to the bathroom (Not a fear of the germs and random puddles of pee, but a fear of what is happening in the house when I'm in the bathroom!) combined one day this week when I walked out of the bathroom to see 2 yr. old Andrew politely wiping up the glass of milk he'd spilled on the floor while I was in the bathroom.

Apparently, he'd reached up to the edge of the sink, gotten a wet dish cloth, and began to mop up the spilled milk on the floor. He then lifted the sopping wet, milky, dripping cloth to the table and swished around that milk, then carried the still dripping dish cloth to the sink and set it on the edge. He gave me the biggest smile, and was so proud of himself for cleaning up the mess. I thanked him and told him what a good job he'd done.
Then, yes, I thoroughly cleaned everything.

Here's my fear - What if he'd finished "cleaning" before I got out of the bathroom. I never would have known why there was milk everywhere (including running down the cabinet front), or all the places the dish cloth had been used. That's why we don't reuse the dish cloths!

Just 'cause.... and Illiterate Literacy

2009-01-12T14:40:00.004-06:00

Word of the Week:

'cause - This word, along with a shoulder shrug, is the reason /explanation for everything that happens around here.

Recently, Aidan saw his name written in all capital letters. Not used to seeing this, he said (sounding like a future rapper), "This looks like my name, but my name has a A to the I to the D to the A to the N". Too funny.

I've noticed, lately, a lot of nouns used as verbs. Has it always been this way, or is it on the increase?
For example, "We roommated in college.", and "I.M. me later". How would an English teacher break down these sentences?!
And while I'm on the subject.... Oh, the downfall of the written word! I was reading a Scholastic book to the kids recently, and one of the words in it was "sorta"! As in "I sorta want to go". Who proofreads these before they're published?! Are they hiring?
Another book used the wrong word entirely. The sentence was something like this - "As he past the goal line..." It should be "passed".
Another problem - should of, could of, would of used instead of should have, could have, would have.
Another problem - Books, especially children's books with incomplete sentences.

Please don't point out all my mistakes in my blog. I know I'm not perfect, but I expect companies who are in the business of publishing books to have them properly proofread before publishing them for millions of people to read.

Dip It In A Liquid

2009-01-05T19:18:00.002-06:00

Thought for the day concerning young children....

They will eat almost anything if they can dip it
in ketchup, ranch dressing, or chocolate syrup.

Just name a food and pick a dip!

Modern Day Shopping for the Fam

2009-01-02T14:10:00.004-06:00

After heading out to do all my Christmas shopping for my family in one day, I realized I'd left all their wish lists at home. Not to worry. I got a pen and paper out of my purse, and jotted down what I could remember from their lists. And, strangely, very few vowels were needed.

To the best of my recollection, this is a compilation of their wish lists:

MP3, DVD, LCD, HDTV, HP, Wii,

GAP, 18K, IPOD, 360, DS, NFL,

AE, GMC, BMW, CD, NBA, GPS,

VCR, 7UP, R2D2, C3P0,

ACT, SAT, FEMA, IRS, FBI, CIA, NASA

They got $.

And not much of it.

Day Care Christmas

2009-01-02T13:48:00.002-06:00

We had a short and sweet day care Christmas party. They each took a bite of their treats I'd spent hours laboring over, and a sip from their holiday punch I'd specially prepared ( Ok, it was just Lil Debbie snack cakes and juice pouches...), and they ripped open the present I'd gotten each of them. Party over.

I'd gotten Carter and Aiden walkie talkie sets (I even remembered to get batteries!). After they opened their presents. I began showing them how the walkie talkies work. I let loose my entire repertoire of CB language. It went something like this - " 10-4 Good buddy. This here's Rubber Ducky. I'm headin' into Chi-Town, where there's Smokies as thick as bugs on a bumper. They even have a bear in the air. We'll crash the gate doin' 98. Let those truckers roll! Negatory, Pig Pen. Catch ya on the flip flop. 10-4, roger, over and out." (Ok, so my CB language repertoire is all from the 70s song Convoy.)

After all that recitation, the only thing the kids picked up on was..... roger. They began screaming into the walkie talkies, "Can you hear me, Roger? Roger, can you hear me?"

I think they'll have fun with them, especially when they finally realize the walkie talkie doesn't need be smashed into their mouths in order for them to talk into it. And if they'll talk into it, not shout. Everything came out sounding like, "mmsh aaaggg cccurrzzz gglliissskkll, rroggggerrr?"

The girls enjoyed their Barbies. No explanation needed.

Back to pre-Christmas......

2009-01-02T13:38:00.002-06:00

B.C. (before Christmas), I loaded up the day care kids, and ran a few errands. Included in those errands was a trip to the dollar store. As we were walking slowly down the toy aisle, I heard the kids begin an excited chant of "I want that! I want that! I want that".
By the time we were nearing the end of the toys, it had become a quiet, rhythmic monotone murmur of "I want that......I want that......I want that....." In fact, it was so flat and devoid of emotion, it reminded me of the scenes in Finding Nemo where the seagulls have the same repetitive murmur of "Mine, mine, mine, mine" - As if repeating it so much made it meaningless.

Just one of those funny, had-to-be-there moments.

Go Fish, Bingo, Man Caves, and Minimalism

2008-12-15T14:21:00.003-06:00

One of our best "problem solving techniques" is using name sticks. In a cup/jar/pencil holder, I keep wooden craft (popsicle) sticks with each child's name written on one. Anytime there's a dispute over who gets the pink cup, who gets to play with a toy first, or if we need to choose a child to do a fun job - we draw a name stick. It's a simple solve.

Each morning at day care one of the kids (whose name stick was drawn) draws a slip of paper from the "treasure box". Then we do the activity listed on it. Today, Aidan drew a slip of paper that read Play Go Fish. We tried really, really hard to play..... It was just so confusing! As soon as a child's turn was over, he/she lost interest in the game. Then when I told them it was their turn again, they hadn't been paying attention so had no idea what to do. And by that time, they'd picked up their matched pairs and mixed them up with the cards in their hands, and/or given some of the matches away to whoever asked. Then the "asking" person would tell the "asked" person to Go Fish, instead of the other way around. So I would have to explain, amid mildly upset children, that they couldn't fish from the "pond", and that they had to tell they other person to Go Fish. Confusing, huh?

I'm almost scared of what the other slips of paper in the box have written on them! Might have to make one reading "Take morning naps", but I'm afraid that won't go over well.

We've been busy playing Electronic Talking Dora Bingo - This works much better than, say Go Fish. It teaches animals and colors, and requires only very short attention spans! We've also played some Christmas Bingo - A bit more complicated, but still fun - and there's candy involved in that!

Singing and dancing to kids songs and Christmas songs is always fun, and great exercise when we're stuck indoors during cold winter weather. This week the kids played with lots of different toys, read and listened to lots of books, and colored lots of pictures (so many, in fact, that the blame for the deforestation of the Pacific Northwest is beginning to swing our way!). They had a large cardboard box to play with this week. The boys, especially, love hiding in these boxes. Ahh... Their first "man cave".
The girls, however, (in an extreme version of housecleaning) love stuffing every item from the play room that's not nailed down into the boxes - which leaves a nice, clean, minimalist look to the playroom. Unfortunately, there's nothing left to play with in the playroom.

We saw snow this week! They couldn't wait to get out in it. That lasted about 8 seconds. It was just too bitterly cold.

We've also been busy making a small gift for parents. Next week, parents will understand all the marker stains on their child's hands, arms, .... faces.

My husband watched the kids one morning while I went to the doctor. He was impressed with some of their wild dance moves! They read books, played, and even got to break a few rules!

Toddlerspeak

2008-12-06T20:59:00.000-06:00

Words that may be new to you, unless you are around toddlers and preschoolers:

Jor - A rectangular-shaped wooden topless box which fits into your kitchen cabinets and holds such items as silverware and junk, i.e. "silverware jor" and "junk jor". Also known as a drawer.

Natdee - Used to negatively describe something, as in "I not eating dat. It natdee". Also known as nasty.

Turvee - Abbreviated word for television. Also known as tv.

Pooder - An object with lots of clacking buttons, a sliding clicker, and a big screen which adults
love to spend time with, while telling the kids they're not to touch them. Also known as
a computer.

Thankful for Friends, Family, and reality tv!

2008-11-27T09:35:00.001-06:00

Today I'd like to make a recommendation. Get a best friend. Sounds simple enough, huh?

I happen to have a wonderful best friend. She's also a day care provider, so we have lots in common. Sometimes we're so much alike, it's scary. She's always a great listener. She offers advice or her opinion when I need it, and refrains from giving advice or her opinion when she thinks I'll calm down later and change my view of a situation. We talk almost daily on the phone. However because of our busy lives, we seldom get together in person. We can talk to each other about everything from our own husbands and kids to day care kids and parents to typos and grammatical errors in the local paper. And, of course, all the local gossip. We both know without having to say it, which discussions are to be kept just between us.

Everyone should have such a friend. Make it your New Year's resolution to not only find such a friend, but also become such a friend to someone else. If you already have a great friendship, be thankful. Do all you can to keep it.

My husband is also a great friend, but in a different way. A very different way. We're more like the "opposites attract" friends. Anything I like, he seems to go out of his way to like the opposite thing. For example if I like the beach, he likes the mountains. If I like hot weather, he likes cold. If I like the Chrysler 300, he likes the latest Cadillac. If I like reality tv, he likes sports. Ok, so that's not so unusual for a guy to like sports. Anyway, whether you and your friend are exactly alike or complete opposites, you can have a wonderful relationship.

Today, I'm thankful for family and friends. I'm thankful for good health and good times. And, I'm thankful (and excited) to have seen Reed Timmer from Discovery Channel's Storm Chasers on ABC's Good Morning America today!

Prune Juice and Bodily Fluids

2008-11-24T14:14:00.000-06:00

The day began innocently enough (Don't they all?). Dad brought almost-2 yr.-old Jr. to day care along with a sippy cup of prune juice.
"Jr.'s stopped up. Needs lots of fluids. No milk"
No problem (so I thought....).

The kids sat around the table for breakfast. Jr., not happy with the prune juice or dad divulging his secrets about his privates, hurled the prune juice-filled sippy cup across the kitchen and onto the floor where it exploded like a volcano. Prune juice dripped and ran down cabinet fronts and cabinet doors, chair legs and kids' legs. The kitchen floor was awash in fluid. Fortunately, the runner rug was there to absorb the rest of the juice....

Biting my lips and crossing my arms with my clenched hands under my armpits (and with four-letter word combinations you'd never imagine going through my mind), I stormed to the locked upper (clean) cabinet and got the cleaning supplies. And began wiping, scrubbing, and cleaning the lower 4 ft. of my kitchen.

After I'd thrown the rug in the washer and was scrubbing the floor again, Carter informed me that the baby in the high chair had thrown up. I glanced up from the floor and could see a bit of white formula on her chin. Upon standing, I realized she was puking up formula, fruit, and rice cereal the equivilent of Mt. St. Helens eruption in 1980! After the major eruption and the small lava flows that followed, I lifted her lovingly in my outstretched arms and carried her dripping torso to the bathtub. I peeled her clothes off over her head ( Trust me, if I'd had scissors or a pocketknife on me, I would have cut them off. I've done it before .... with an encounter with a different bodily fluid that shouldn't have been fluid...) and cleaned her from head to toe.

All the while I'm doing this, the kids are still sitting at the table eating their breakfast. They seem to eat more when there's a show included with their meal.

Baby then went into a playpen while I took the cushioned seat cover off the high chair, hosed it off outside, scrubbed it in the sink, laid it on the porch rail to dry, and scrubbed the rest of the high chair.

I then refilled Jr.'s sippy cup, with oj this time. Guess he didn't want oj either. After rescrubbing the lower 4 ft. of my kitchen, I cleared the table and the breakfast mess.

Carter and Aidan began running through the house from one end to the other knocking down anyone or anything in their paths. No amount of asking, pleading, demanding, or bribing could get them to stop running. So, I sent them outside and told them to run all they wanted.

As I began bundling up all the littler ones to go outside, I began to suspect that the prune juice was working its magic. After Jr. was unbundled, cleaned and changed, and rebundled, I realized the prune juice had caused a chain reaction in all the little ones.

Between diaper changes, I looked out to check on Carter and Aidan, they were just standing on the porch. Not running. I told them they were supposed to be running like they had been in the house. They began walking down the steps, so I headed back to the bathroom and more diaper changes.

While diapers, wipes, changing pads, poopy butts, and germs were flowing in a strange, and smelly, assembly line in the bathroom, Baby decided that was an excellent time to puke again. So, the bathroom rug joined the kitchen rug in the washer.

Eventually, 8 diapers were changed (2 for each Diaperbutt... Apparently, prune juice works just by coming in contact with someone who's drank it, or thrown it). Everyone was rebundled and we headed outside to find Carter and Aidan, sitting on the swings. Not swinging. Just sitting.

Just as I turned them all loose to play outside, my mom pulled into the driveway. She lives across town - about 10 blocks in our modern Mayberry. She got out of her van carrying a day-old birthday cake - thick with frosting and brightly colored sprinkles. She wanted to share it with us. How nice.

I was anxious to see how the second hour of my workday was going to go.

Lunch Helper

2008-11-20T13:42:00.000-06:00

Recently, just as I was calling Lunch Helper into the kitchen to help with lunch, I heard yelling, a name called, a thump, and, then, crying coming from the playroom. I called Lunch Helper again.

When she got in the kitchen, I asked her, "Lunch Helper (not her real name), what just happened in the toy room? Any blood, guts, bones sticking out?"

I was expecting/wanting a quick "yes" or "no". Well, I was wanting to hear "no" , of course. But, I'd forgotten that Lunch Helper likes to tell the long version of events, so this is what I got instead.

"Babysitter (not my real name), you bemember dis one time when we had pancakes for breakfast? And we eben had peanut butter on dem? And Lucy and Ethel (names have been changed) were both reaching for the bananas? And they spilled Laverne's milk? And den Shirley said she was done eben though she didn't eben eat anything? And bemember den we pwayed Barbie's? And I hadded the Barbie couch? And we were betending they were at the movie feater? But Marsha and Jan were coloring and they were betending dey were at school? But den Cindy tried to take my Barbie? 'Cause eben she likeded the dress my Barbie was wearing?".......

And all the while this is going on, I'm popping things in the microwave, popping things out of the oven, stirring things, counting out napkins, spoons, forks, getting out plates, cups......)

...."And den I yankeded my Barbie back from Cindy? And den Cindy started crying?"....

And here's where I did the unthinkable... I interrupted Lunch Helper.
I said, "Yeah, sounds bad. So, in the toy room just now... well, 10 minutes ago now.... any blood, guts, broken bones?"

Well, I forgot that when Lunch Helper gets interrupted, she doesn't just continue from where she left off. She starts all over again....

"Well, Babysitter, you bemember dis one time when we had pancakes for breakfast? We eben had peanut butter on dem?...." ...... etc., etc., etc. ...... "And I yankeded my Barbie back from Cindy? And den Cindy started crying? And den you made us pway outside? And bemember dat you woosed to have a yellow hula hoop? And bemember dis one time when I threw it up and it hitted me on the head? And den me and Lucy and Laverne all wanted the same swing? And den we just pwayed on the swipper swide? Only Laverne started pwaying in the pwayhouse with Marsha and Jan? And dey wouldn't let Ethel pway 'cause she wanted to be a dog? And dey said she had to be a kitty? And den when we came in the house later Ethel wouldn't hang up her coat? And bemember I let the cat in the waundry room to eat her food? And eben I letted her out again? And eben Cindy and Shirley wanted to pway house but dey wouldn't let me be the mom? So I watcheded tv? And it was Tom and Jerry? And Jerry hitted Tom's tail with a hammer?"

By now lunch was getting cold and congealed, and I still didn't know if I had a Defcon 1 situation in the play room. So, I had to interrupt Lunch Helper at the risk of hearing it all repeated again.
I said, "Lunch Helper, what does all this have to do with what went on in the play room? Was someone injured? Blood, guts, broken bones??!!"

Lunch Helper said, "Dat is what I is twying to tell you. Dis one time when I was watching Tom and Jerry? And Jerry hitted Tom's tail with a hammer? Dat's the same show I was watching again today when you called me to be the lunch helper. So, I doesn't know. I wasn't eben in the pway room!"

AAAaaaaauuuuugggggghhhh!

Life went on with no sign of blood, guts, or broken bones.

Overheard Conversations....

2008-11-07T14:22:00.000-06:00

Typical playtime conversation around here....

Chandler to Ashley - " Momma, they're being mean to me."
Ashley to Chandler - "So? I'm not even the mom. I'm the sister. And, anyway, they're cats."

Overheard from the playroom....

One child said, "The puppy was chewing on Jessica's shoes."
Another child answered excitedly, "I've been to Chucky Cheese, too!"

Have you ever had a conversation where, when it's over, you realize nothing has actually been said? Here's a conversation we had in the van as we were leaving the bank drive-thru recently.

Taryn - " Who that?"

Me - "Just the woman who works at the bank."

Taryn - "Why?"

Me - "That's her job."

Cassidy - "Who?"

Me - "The woman who works at the bank."

Taryn - "Who that?"

Me - "The bank woman."

Cassidy - "Who is she?"

Me - "The woman who works at the bank."

Taryn - "Why?"

Me - "That's her job."

Cassidy - "Who is it?"

Me - "The woman working at the bank."

Cassiday and Taryn - "Oh."

Look, I have a tampon!

2008-11-05T12:46:00.000-06:00

I was startled one day when a young girl came up behind me and said, quite excitedly, "Look! I have a tampon!"
I was afraid to turn around and look, but curiosity took over. Yep, there she was holding in one hand a picture she'd colored, and in the other hand an envelope with a sticker in the upper corner of it.
She said, " See? I have a 'tamp on it.".
Whew! Just a "stamp on" it.

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That Better? That Better?

2008-10-28T21:30:00.000-05:00

While I was cooking lunch, I told 3 yr. old Taryn that she needed to take the doll stroller she was playing with and get out of the kitchen. She pushed the stroller about 6 inches away from the stove and said, "That better?". Each time I told her to take it out of the kitchen, she would push it about 6 more inches and say, "That better?". 6 more inches, "That better?". 6 more inches, "That better?". And she seriously thought it was better each time.

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Girls Chandler and Addy were pretending to be "chillerators" (cheerleaders to the rest of us), when they began bowing down to each other while saying, "Your ministry, your ministry" (Your majesty to the rest of us).

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Diary of a Day Care

2008-10-27T14:10:00.000-05:00

In writing this journal of daily life in my home day care, I hope to capture some of those small, but unforgettable moments that only happen once, and share them with you. Some of these precious moments, the parents will be glad they missed (and they may wish I hadn't preserved them). Rest assured, the names have been changed to protect the innocent kids (and the often embarrassed parents).

Case in point: Vanessa arrived at my house early one morning yawning and with dark circles under her eyes. After her mother left for work looking tired and haggard, Vanessa explained, "We didn't get much sleep last night 'cause me and mom had to drive by all the bars in town looking for dad".

Then there was the afternoon the children were discussing who they would have spend the night with them if they could. Joshua, 5, piped up, "Guess what?!", his usual way of starting sentences. "Matt spent the night last night!". Having never heard him mention a friend by that name, I (innocently) asked if Matt was a new friend of his.
"No," Joshua replied, " He's my mom's new friend!".

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We've been studying a different letter of the alphabet every few days. While thinking of items that start with Aa one child said, "I know. A-S-S!". They're not allowed to say it, but for some unexplained reason think it's ok to spell it. While naming Bb items, the same child shouted, "Ba-Ba-Butthead!" I can't wait to see what Cc brings.

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This reminds me of Ryan, a preschooler I once watched. When he returned to my house after preschool one day, we practiced the alphabet while looking at a chart on the wall. Astonished, Ryan exclaimed, " These are the same letters we learn at my school!"

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I recognized the tune Justin was singing as Three Blind Mice. When I listened closely to the words, I realized he was singing "Rewind mice, rewind mice."

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It started as a quiet disagreement, but soon escalated to a full-blown shouting match. The argument? Who was the quietest.
They completely missed the irony of this.

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Mondays sometimes bring surprises for me, as when I asked the kids what they'd done over the weekend.

"Me and my brother and Grandpa were looking at a calendar with naked women on it!" Russell, 5, exclaimed.

"I'm sure they had swimsuits on," I said.

"They do now", he explained, "'cause Mom took a marker and drew swimsuits on 'em!".

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Funny thing is you can tell a person's generation by whether they call it a "marker" or a "magic marker". Yes, I'm of the magic marker generation. Back in the day, they did seem a bit magical.